One

June 30th, 2007

I have spoken often of Jake’s gentleness, but not enough of his strength. The gentleness is easy to see; the strength, more subtle, but no less remarkable. For it takes courage to love me. It takes strength to stay.

People often say that I’m the stronger half of the couple, but they see things only on the surface: his mildness, my fire. The truth is, it is more difficult to be calm than angry; it takes more strength to dam up a river than to release it. I’m learning only now something Jake has known all his life.

At first I did not think this would last. I was afraid of overwhelming him the way I overwhelmed all the other boys who said they loved me. It turned out that I would be the one overwhelmed with the depth and breadth of his love.

He is a cornerstone on which I have rebuilt my life; he is a foundation, a pivot point, a center. He stabilizes me, gives substance to my emotions, shelters me from myself. He’s teaching me how to laugh again, how to see the world with the wisdom of a hermit and the clarity of a child. How to be gentle. How to be kind.

I say — at first I did not think this would last. That was then. This is now. It’s strange how a year can go by in a heartbeat, a blink of an eye.

Happy first year, Alejandro Alejo. I love you.

Entry Filed under: thoughts